Life described in a programming language

script type="life endless loop">
Early morning, wakeup alarm
open eyes see and feel around
If alive and kicking Then
perform.action("get ready to go to work!")


ElseIf alive and sick Then
perform.action("call up your manager to inform you are OOO!")


ElseIf alive and frustrated
perform.action("pull the quilt over your face and get back to sleep!")


Else 
perform.action("Rest in Peace!")


End If